I had the chance to let you in but i closed the doors and you walked away without saying a word

Always when i see a yellow car i wonder if it's you. I try to look through the window to see who is driving it but it's always someone else. An old man with a green cap. An anxious mother and her bad tempered child. But never you.

I don't know how to break the silent wall between us and it makes me so sorrowful to realize that it was me who picked up all the mute stones for it. One by one. Unintentionally. I was so afraid of you seeing inside of my little secret garden that has never had anyone else walking on its wild lawn. I felt i didn't belong to the place that you call home because i am only a visitor here and i always keep my suitcases packed up. I know i will leave one day and that's why i have never allowed myself to bind new knots because my main mission has been to cut off all the old ones. I thought we are from different worlds that are too far away from one another. I thought your hand could never reach mine.

I had the chance to let you in but i closed the doors and you walked away without saying a word. I thought i will forget you with time but time has passed and still i can't sleep in the nights because i am worrying and wondering if i can ever have a second chance. If you will ever talk to me again. If you will ever smile to me again though the last time i couldn't smile back and look into your eyes. If the footprints that you left on the lawn of my garden will ever vanish.

I see a yellow car again at the crossroads and stand up from the bus stop bench to see inside of it, feeling excited. But no. It's not you.